Burned and buried
by katheli
Summary: They bury Dean Winchester on a Tuesday. Jo remembers his life and death and the absence of the only Winchester left. Gen, Jo POV.


Authors notes: My first English story...please be kind. Fell free to R&R!

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They bury Dean Winchester on a Tuesday. Or, rather, the ashes of Dean Winchester. One would expect nothing else from one of the greatest hunters of all time.

He knew better. They all do.

Still, as Jo stands at his grave, she doesn´t feel anything. They burned him yesterday, and she was crying, begging her mother not to do this just yet, there had to be a way, any way to save him. Today, she´s just feeling numb.

Ellen had shaken her head, silently, her eyes full of pity.

It had made Jo furious, as if she had been the one to suffer. She didn't want pity for herself.

She didn´t deserve it, not after Dean had sacrificed his own life by binding himself to the hellmouth they had found, the source of all evil. By this he had activated the closing process of that thing, but of course, once it was closed… There wasn´t much of Dean left.

His body, yes. His soul? Not so much.

She had been angry then, at Bobby and her mother for not letting her comfort him, help him in these last weeks of his life.

When she sees the new wrinkles in Ellen´s face, the way her mother´s skin has a more ashen tone to it, she is almost grateful.

She can´t really look at Bobby, because… she can´t. It only makes her want to scream. There aren´t many people at this funeral – herself, her mother, Bobby and a few other hunters who´ve heard about what happened.

They want to show their respect.

Bela called, didn´t say anything and hung up again. Later, she called again, and Jo overheard Bobby slowly talking to her on the phone. Deep, warm, _soothing_.

It really shows the absurdity of the whole situation, because Bela? _Never_ needs soothing.

A woman named Missouri has been here for weeks, obviously, since Jo first saw her coming out of Bobby´s house, when… when it was over.

She had been shaking her head, whispering something, and looking really, really tired.

Not enough people are here, not by a long shot.

Dean deserves more, he always did. Jo always knew that.

Sam isn´t here, of course. He doesn´t even know about it yet. Hasn´t known anything happening in Dean´s life for years now.

Bobby told her that Dean had insisted they not call him.

Jo was more than happy to oblige. She has never forgiven Sam for walking out that second time and she knows that Dean hadn´t either. Sometimes she wonders if that was when Dean decided his life was just another weapon he could use, regardless of the consequences.

Like it didn´t really matter anymore.

She´ll never forgive Sam for _that_.

Oh, she knows he has called. Over and over, for months, leaving messages that could have made her heart break, had it not already been broken by the look in Deans eyes. Empty. Numb.

Sam might think he has a right to want what he wants, that he deserves it. But Jo knows better, because while, of course, he deserves it, what about Dean?

What about that little girl in Michigan, the one Dean couldn´t save, because he was _alone_?

What about the scars that cover his whole body, what about the ones he wouldn´t have got?

What about _Dean_?

What about the man that they burned yesterday and buried today? What about those weeks, those horrible weeks when she wasn´t allowed to even go near Bobby´s house, where Dean lay and suffered...

Bobby, of course, disagreed with Dean. He thought they should call Sam, that Sam should be there.

Dean said _no_, and by then they couldn´t really deny him anything.

Jo wraps her coat around her body, she is freezing in that soft breeze that's moving the flowers on Dean´s grave. Missouri brought them. She said they ought to guide him.

Bobby is saying something, something about Dean, his personality, his life.

Jo isn´t really listening, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. Closing that hellmouth, that one special hellmouth, the one that could have doomed the world, that pretty much sums it all up.

Dean´s life was always about giving other people what they wanted.

A small figure is leaning against a tree. Jo is surprised to recognize her as Ruby, who never shows up at such occasions. Her face is unreadable, her posture seemingly relaxed. But.

When the speeches are over and everyone is saying goodbye, she walks over to Ruby, who she doesn´t even really know, without knowing why.

Ruby lifts her head and looks at her. She says, "I´m sorry."

Jo wants to laugh, bitterly. Sorry for her loss?

Ruby shakes her head, and says, "Just sorry".

And Jo nods, because after everything, there is nothing else to say.


End file.
